New old directions

It’s been a couple of weeks of soul searching. Life. Creativity. Career. The big questions.

Ultimately I had to face up to some personal truths. Basically I haven’t been honest with myself. The journey back to myself which I thought I had completed in the whole giving-up-slaving-for-the-man-for-life-of-creative-freedom, is in fact, not really over. I had diverted off the path. Tempted away by ‘the man’ type promises.  If  this was Little Red Riding Hood and I was Hood, then I had ended up hanging out with Hansel and Gretel in the bad part of the woods, getting high on marshmallows, instead of going to grandma’s house Like I was supposed to. Something like that.

Am I being a bit obscure here?

I had left the art I truly loved and that loved me. I listened to external fears about my embroidery not being commercial enough to be a feasible business proposition, not the kind of stuff I was doing anyway, and the long hours it took. I ended up worrying about money rather than being creatively truthful. That’s not a ridiculous thing to worry about, but in thinking this way I had to face up that I had stopped believing in doing the right thing for me – being true to myself – could lead to happiness and fulfilment in all senses of the word.

I still do feel like a bit of a loser, considering all the time and energy I’ve invested into numerous projects, and I still keep changing my bloody mind, but I guess it’s the journey, not the destination.

Linked to source

What he said.

But hallelujah, I’ve seen the light. Some well-timed advice, some encouragement, tears and middle-of-the-night obsessive thoughts, and I’ve picked this guy up again:

Time to get that background finished once and for all!

Plus some really exciting new projects and techniques to learn that I will be blogging about in the coming weeks and months.

6 thoughts on “New old directions

  1. your other projects are lovely and a nice alternative when you fancy a change of scenery, hadn’t realised you hadn’t been doing your embroidery. I’m sure you encompass both happily but as you say impotant to be true to your true love

  2. Good for you. Sometimes we struggle on our own paths. Your line about the art you love and that loves you is beautiful Don’t give up. What you contribute to our world is important.

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