I’m back. I’ve been blogging a lot more lately after a nearly seven months gap since you last heard from me. There is a reason. Let me get a cup of tea and tell you all about it and what I’ve been up to.
So, I finally finished my Aromatherapy diploma case studies back in April and sent off the whole 18-months-worth of work to be marked. Which it was, and I got my shiny (not really shiny, papery really) certificate, insurance and all that aromatic jazz. But some spooky timing was afoot and, without going in to all the details, I had the opportunity to go for a job at the place I worked that I had always quite fancied. Now I was in a little bit of a pickle because although I USED to quite fancy it, at this point I was fed up with working for someone else and felt ready to be more of a self-employed person. So this chance came along at a weird time.
Nevertheless I went for it anyway and got the job, knowing that unless I tried it I would always wonder ‘what if’.
Well, I tried it. And you know what? I didn’t like it.
Not that I couldn’t do it. Not that I wasn’t good at it. Not that I couldn’t cope with it. Actually some days I couldn’t cope with it.
I just didn’t like it.
Here’s what changed when I took the job:
Monday’s I’d leave for London, come home on Thursday night most weeks.
Didn’t do aromatherapy for anyone
Stopped eating healthy
Stopped cooking and eating dinner with my husband
Stopped feeling inspired
It’s not that anyone else stopped me from doing these things. I stopped myself from doing these things. By the choice I made to do the big girl’s job in London.
So I quit.
And you know what? It was the most empowering thing I ever did. I felt really powerful. Because I wasn’t giving something up, I was making a positive choice in my life and taking control. I realised I hadn’t felt in control for a long time.
Here’s what else I learnt about me:
I am ready to be self employed.
Doing something ‘important’ only makes you happy if it’s important to you.
My family and friends really really believe in me more than I believe in myself sometimes, so I should listen to them.